Ack!

23 hrs of no Internet or phone! Damn you Comcast!!!

I kinda felt a bit woozy when I could finally log back in again.

Where did you come from?

I have become a bit of a Stat-aholic with my websites. I have been using the free Bravenet, but also another free service called icerocket to monitor hits, countries they came from traffic times and the like.

What continually surprises me is what people google, and my name comes up...

Furry Ass - what the hell?
Washing hands - okay, I know this relates to my little rant on the evil dishwasher, but who googles washing hands? Doesn't everyone know how to wash their hands?
Relationship love bites hickey - well, this is a little more like it!
Strong erotica for married couples - it looks like these people are trying a little something new to liven up their love life, you go!
Laughing gives you wrinkles - LOL, check out last weeks Thursday 13 to check out why I came up on this.

Give me some ideas

I was checking out publisher submission requests this morning (I have been caught up with these house renovations and haven't done so for a while), and spied the Midsummer Night's Steam submission requests -

They want Red Hot, steamy, sexy, erotic, girls , boys (and any combo thereof), sun sand, surf...sex.

What would you like to see in a short story read thats summer themed?

Finally!

FB was convinced to read something for me.

Now he has been adamantly refusing to read any of my writing until such time as I could provide him with a lesbian work - just for his reading pleasure (Of course that got my back up, so see if I offer him that manuscript to read if it ever gets written!). So I was most surprised when I asked him to read over a current WIP (no gay sex in this one, he wouldn't touch that with a barge pole), he actually did. Then came back to me and said, "hey, this isn't half bad!". The surprise in his voice was most uncomplimentary, but I decided to be the better person and gracefully said thank you.

I will say that FB does put up with a hell of a lot of my burbling about writing, publishing, and general smack talk about things I want to do, but haven't quite got there yet with. Usually with the same aplomb as I deal with music talk...ahum, yeah, really? wow! that's interesting...so it was quite surprising when FB then says "so now that they have got together, what is going to happen? That is only the start of the story...right?"

Rutt Ro! Only the start of the story? Shit...this was supposed to be halfway through the story. (The original aim had been to submit it for the Amber Heatwave contest, then I thought maybe instead I would submit it for the Elloras 2008 Quickies since the heroine is named Pearl, and wears pearls as she is supposed to be a prissy preppy prude) "Half way through? Oh no, definitely not, there's way more story you can add after this. You need to find a bad guy, or maybe you can give this Grand Dame lady some evil plot - that shes manipulating The Magic somehow because she has secret plans for their offspring or something."

Bloody hell...not only have I got to come up with another 30k+ words I need to figure out a sneaky plot when this was supposed to be a short and sweet story? Did we just jump from lesbian porn to legitimate suggestions in one giant, big leap?

Oh, we didn't...FB is still waiting on the lesbian porn...

Squeeeeeee!!

I got an email late last night - my Position Vacant author copies. WaHoo!

It all seems so real once I get those in my hot little hand. It is also a bit of a relief. Persuading Jo went right to the wire with edits, and because I was in New Zealand on a surprise Holiday at the time (and away from an internet connection) and things got a little pie shaped at the last minute.

This time around, though, everything has been like clockwork. Thank goodness, I was getting a bit paranoid :)

Reading habits

I will admit it, I am an addict.

But recently I am finding an annoying trend. I read three to four chapters then skip ahead to nearly the end to see if what I think is about to happen, happens. This is only with print books. I havent yet started it with e-books, I wonder why?

Maybe it is because "real" books - in so much as they are printed on paper and bound - are right there, its just a matter of moving a finger, where in an e-book i have to click a few times or type in a number of a page to go to?

Or is it that the standard, formulaic, romance books, are becoming just that. Standard and formulaic ie. boring. I have to admit, in e-books, there is such a wide variety in content; not all of it good. While I might not be skipping the pages yet, I have laughed aloud at bad e-books and print books. Bad is bad in every format!

Is it because a number of reputable e-book publishers aren't afraid to step out of the box and give us the low down nitty gritty - of both sex and real life emotions - rather than a little idyllic world for us to daydream about being real? Of course not all e-books are anywhere near to being based in "reality", but still the authors give us interesting angst, rather than the usual "he's the boss, I'm pregnant with my father twice removed cousins baby woe is me!"?

Although I am a closet fan of mystery baby daddy stories, go figure?

I <3 the internet

You have to love the internet. People used to wait for the freakshow to arrive to get good quality, weird and wonderful entertainment. Now, we have the internet.

An odd statement you might say, considering after all, I am an e-published author. But the internet is so much more than that, it is a constant source of amusement for me. It keeps me warm on cold winter nights, it feeds me, it supports me, it loves me!

For example : Where else can I find anonymous support groups for strange bodily afflictions, where with a single post I can gather my friends around, so they can cosset me and assure me that my life is not over.

Another: Food...the world is my oyster, so to speak - I really wouldn't recommend oysters purchased on the net, salmonella is such a horrible way to go.

And yet another: Condom Mania Who ever would have thunk it! a condom wizard!



Now, I have seem some unusual duckies in my time - check out www.orientaltrading.com sometime, they have duckies for all occasions...well, except for this one...



Now, this truely is something new to me.
Need to hide the evidence from Mom? Dad, the kids? A Flower Power Personal Massager should do the trick! And if this isn't the ultimate accessory for a VW beetle flower vase, I don't know what is!


You know what, this site is so damn groovy I am going to add it to my weird and wonderful links list. Everyone deserves to know what Debbie and Dick get up to in their bedroom!

Personally I am kinda curious about the "See Debbie Swallow! Oral Sex Spray".