Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Supermarket funnies

You know how they tempt you with all sorts of crap when you go to check out at the supermarket (hell, anywhere), well this packaging popped out at me:


Does this scream out loud that it's a packet of condoms, or what?

Stride - Hitting your stride, striding down the lovel canal, a strident performance... I mean Trojan's already cornered the market on the "fake you out biology, now I'm going to batter down the gates to that inner sanctum" title but Stride is kinda catchy.

Then I pick up the packet, thinking "huh, it comes in three flavours. I wonder how many they have in a box, WOW, they put these at the fromnt counter of Publix now?"

Imagine my dissapointment when I read the find print and find out it's gum. GUM. Freaking gum.

Well how's that for disappointing.

Look for it when you go out, the packaging is shiny and that S makes a swishing sound in your head (think clothing rubbing together, like nylon excercise pants being swished together as you and your lover get a little swishy with it). It's false bloody advertising. Gum packets shouldn't look that ... well ... swishy.

For what it's worth though, they have a cool ass website!

Next on the roofles list was this, found at the next stop, Walgreens:



WTF? You can buy Vibrators at Walgreens now? Well, vibrating cock rings anyway.

No more waiting for your brown paper package in the mail, or getting caught exiting that building. You know the one I'm talking about, they aren't hard to miss with names like Forbidden Fantasies, Sweet Sensations, Fantasy Lane, Temptation Alley. (Although, you don't even need to leave the house these days - they come to you!! (non pun inteneded) Check them out here, here, here. Having been to one ... or two ... I can say they are a world of fun.)

I did a little research - these little rings are:

  • Raised dot adds increased pleasure
  • Safely powered by a small battery enclosed in a soft casing
  • Lasts up to 20 minutes
  • Every ring is quality inspected to ensure reliability
Best thing of all for me, they are disposable. I'm no clean freak, but I've always wondered about how hygenic some of these toys can be.

There is NO reason, no reason at all guys, that you can't splurge on your girl and give her a little extra ... err ... buzz for your buck while keeping the plastic strapped on (cause we all know you single, non-monogamous guys do that, right? You don't play russian roulette with your dick, do you.)

I might have to do a little product testing. I'll see how long it takes FB to get me to swallow the gum :D.

3 comments:

Miss Frou Frou said...

Hi, found you via Rhian... funny post. Am I weird, but I thought at first that the Stride packet was going to be something to do with The Secret? And then when you said condoms, I thought, oh makes sense... the laws of attraction... sigh... mental, loopy tangent..sorry...

Anne Douglas said...

Welcome Miss frou frou! Please come back :)

People keep talking about this 'The Secret' book, and frankly it scares me a little. No-one will tell you what it's about, yet they all tell you it changed their lives. It all feels a little cultist to me.

Miss Frou Frou said...

Anne, oh in my opinion its a load of old cobblers... basic premise is that if you think positive, positive things will happen to you... certainly worked for the authors who are making a mint!

Reminds me of my Dad years ago sending of $5 in response to an ad saying post me $5 and I will explain how you can make $10,000. He got back in the mail a note saying, if you want to make $10,000 place an ad in the paper asking for $5 for the secret to make $10,000!