Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Crying is so not cool

I've been trying hard (and mostly failing) to get myself on track and get Accidentally Were? finished. Not polished and ready for my editor to read through it, but just down on paper.

I'd said the end of May, but stupid me forgot that's the end of the school year isn't it, and as homeroom mother ... well, somehow my time disappeared. So I'm determined to have everything down on paper by the end of June, and if I really manage to get myself on track (not easy to do when you're the mother of an only lonely 7yr old who wants to actually do stuff on his summer break) have the editing and critiquing done so it's in B's hot little hands.

Being that I'm convinced I'm a candidate for adult ADHD, and damn it, it's sunny out, I'm finding it hard to stick my butt in that seat, and I doubt the pool and my laptop would mix all that well.

But today I'm determined to get through this big scene. No it's not a sex scene, it's the scene where the BIG reason for it all comes out -- Mystery, Prophecies, letters from the dead.

A letter from a dead mother that I'm trying to write but can't as it's really fucking hard to see the screen when you're bawling your eyes out. I mean come on! I haven't even written it, how the hell can I be crying over it? How whacked out is that?

I haven't got to the smooshy mother daughter stuff, or the big prophecy announcement, or any of the woo woo (hands flailing in the air while you make train noises) stuff. Two damn paragraphs and I'm running for the tissues. This is supposed to be a comedy, damn it all. Why am I getting all teary eyed?

Bloody hormones.

I think I need to make a chocolate run or do something mean like let kiddo keep poking the cat with the plastic sword till the cat decides to retaliate, then say "I told you so".

I'm not a mean mother, I swear, but sometimes we really do have to say I told you so. It saves our sanity.

1 comment:

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I'm a firm believer in the "I told you so" method of learning. Don't sweat it.

As for the crying bit, I cried when I wrote something pretty big and important. Let the tears flow and concentrate on getting the words inside you out. You can fix the spelling errors later.