It's Monday

The start of a new work week.

Bah humbug. I'm still feeling like crap, hubby is home feeling like crap - the only one feeling any love is kiddo, who apparently had a crap day at school.

Craptastic!

I think I might go bury myself somewhere and try to finish off this seen for McCabes 2 (which I have a feeling is still to straight for LI) and so I can review it tomorrow and realise it's crap too!

I swear, I'll be in a better mood tomorrow!

13 ways in which your day could be worse

1. You and your dog have the same hair style because your anti frizz, frizzed.
2. You forget to scrub off the Agent Blue mouth rinse in your anti frizz frazzle, and its not till your first potty break that you realise every knows you didn't brush your teeth this morning.
3. Gum. Sit on it, stand on it, or your dog rolls on it - stick to peppermints.
   
4. Running out of gas while you're sitting in the queue at the lights - first in the queue at the lights!
5. Flat tires just plain suck. (Personal experience with this last weekend)
6. The Blue Screen of Death - if you don't know what this is count yourself lucky.
7. Followed quickly by a grinding, beeping, crunching noise as your hard drive dives into the river Styx.
8. When you realise with great pain and screaming that the last backup you made was six months ago, if ever.
9. Cow Pats. I don't care if you were so poor you jumped from cow pat to cow pat to keep your feet warm in winter Grandma, that's just gross! Though I have to say, dog crap smells worse.
10. You're not this guy:

    We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:
    Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.
    On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
    
    Initially, the new acquisition was no problem. Then one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
    
    "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
    "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
    "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
    
    So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
    It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink, and at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.
    
    Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
    
    When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics. Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding. Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
    If they only knew!
    

11. Getting half way through your morning granola then realising those little white things are moving.
12. Your most favourite coffee shop, the one that you religiously stop at every morning has been shut down for major health code violations, and the next nearest Java shop is five blocks behind you in the rush hour traffic snarl.
13. Your boss comes in late, looking like he's been dragged backward through a blackberry bush - His wife invited both sets of in laws to stay for a week; the kids are playing grandparent off grandparent to get more loot; and his wife just dropped the bombshell that she's pregnant, again.