Wednesday, June 13, 2007

13 absolutely, positively horrible Redneck pickup lines

Shamelessly swiped from elsewhere, because my brains feeling mushy tonight (but I've got an extra 2k on AW done, woo, go me!):


1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree and I was a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.

And.... the most tackiest for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up!

22 comments:

Ed said...

ROFL. I always enjoy bad Red Neck jokes
Thanx for the laugh.
Ed Davis

Cordia Amant said...

Wow, those are pretty bad. Boy am I glad no one's ever used one of those on me.

Crimson Wife said...

Sad as it is, I've actually heard a variation on #5.

The worst attempted pick-up line I've heard is when I've told a guy "sorry, I'm married" and he responds "well, I don't see him here with you now, do I?" Several different sleazebags have tried this one on me, yikes! Just because I'm in a bar having drinks with my girlfriends does NOT mean I'm interested in cheating on my husband, thank you very much!

MamaLee said...

LMFAO!

Wrench...lol

Wylie Kinson said...

Too funny! Anything red-neck makes me giggle because I have Jeff Foxworthy's voice in my head.

Michelle M Pillow said...

LOL

Raven Paranormal Blog said...

Great list!

Drew said...

*lol* I love jokes about my neighbors.

RED GARNIER said...

LMAO!!!

You had me at the first. HA!!

Loved your TT!

sobeit said...

Funny list!! Happy TT!

Miss Frou Frou said...

Funny.. how about "how do you like your eggs, poached, scrambled or fertilized?"

N.J.Walters said...

ROFL

Ember Case said...

omg. Light switch away. Love it!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Whoa. We can sleep till afternoon. That's classic. (and something Trevor would say!)

Those rock, Anne. And congrats on the extra word count -- you deserve a mushy brain for that!

Loribelle Hunt said...

Lmao!

Lesley said...

Those are awful!!!!!!!!!!! And yet terribly funny! hehehe The window cleaner one is priceless.

Christine said...

ROFL!!! I love #6. That one makes me giggle silly.

Robin L. Rotham said...

Those are great, LOL! Thanks -- I needed a belly laugh this morning.

Chatterbox said...

Great list. Had me giggling.

Ann said...

Great list. Thanks for the laugh.

spyscribbler said...

Hah! That's a funny list. What I wouldn't give to be able to use one of those in a story!

Happy TT!

Anne Douglas said...

You know, I might just have to try do that. Can you imagine the hero waltzing up and using "You've got windex blue eyes?"