Have a laugh

Courtesy of Headless over on Borsboards:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 25th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.
The first woman says, 'My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two Weeks,' and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.
The second woman says, 'Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,' and looks about with considerable pride.
The third woman says, 'Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have many material possessions, but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis.'
After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says, 'Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera we're going to my parent's house for two weeks.'
The second woman says, 'Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me a Taurus.'
'Well,' the third woman says, 'I've got a confession to make. Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg.'