Stuffed that one up, didn't I

Turns out that there is a big kerfuffle about registerfly that I didn't know about, so I unsuspectingly reregistered my domain names through them.

Turns out thats a big problem, so I'm now in the processes of transferring them to another registrar. Here's hoping that works out okay.

I started reading Anna Campbell's Taming of the Courtesan last night - it definitely isn't your ordinary average historical. Thus far I'm liking it.

Thirteen ways to leave your lover...

Thursday thirteen #2

1. Send flowers - Dead Flowers. Nothing says it like flowers

2. Not a flowers kind of person, and prefer to send houseplants? How about a prickly cactus with a sweet love note saying "this is how I think of you in my heart".

3. Stand him up - the new millennium way. Make a date to meet him at a fancy restaurant, also arrange to meet your new love at the same place. Make as if you plan to sit at the table, but waltz on by, and greet your new love by draping your scantily clad body over his and lickin' his lips like hes candy on a stick. Don't gloat unless your new love is of the same sex - only then should you look over and smile and watch his/her dreams of the threesome going swirling down the drain.

4. Set him up on a date...with your gay best friend.

5. Pet allergies huh? Make your feelings known via the SPCA/Humane society, adopt a couple of furry friends and invite him/her over to watch the game/chick flick.

6. Lip gloss - the kind with the flavour he doesn't like. Eventually he will get the hint.

7. Rearrange their stuff. Hide his porn, or even more dastardly - the remote. Never fear, the gals get their comeuppance, too - use her favourite hairbrush on your dog, or that expensive face cream on your jock itch...you won't see her for dust!

8. The Silent Treatment - now this really only works on girls; you know how frustrated we get when you ignore us.

9. Go all Janice on his ass. Remember Janice, Chandler Bing's ex-girlfriend in Friends? And that annoying laugh, only just slightly beating out Nanny Fine's caterwauling? Develop a new annoying vocal habit, use it to good effect during the game. He'll be gone by half time and wont be back!

10. Buy a dildo...with a harness. Then ask him if you can drive tonight. If he says go for it, you might just have to think twice about getting rid of the guy!

11. Be a Momma's boy. When she goes all out with candles and fine food, tell her it doesn't taste as good as what your Momma makes. This is an extreme measure, be prepared to duck flying forks and plates used like a Frisbee.

12. Really want this girl out of your hair? Wear her panties. You might not want to go as far as her bra (they are uncomfortable SOB's), but no woman is going to take you walking around in her finest - especially when it looks better on you!

13. Just slip out the back, jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You don't need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, lee. And get yourself free.

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The stress!

You would think the stress of editing, deadlines, promotions and all the rest would give anyone a severe headache, right?

Wrong, I have found something worse - my child's classroom Christams Party (although we aren't allowed to call them parties and its holiday or winter not Christmas - I'm not religious, but damn, this is getting a touch PC isn't it?).

Why the hell did I volunteer for this shite? Oh, thats right, I am a sucker for punishment and I like to entertain (something that has been significantly curtailed since we came to the States). You might think a house full of 30 adults a daunting task. They ain't got nothin' on 17 6-yr olds!

If you don't hear from me after the 19th of Dec, you know they hated my party planning and stoned me to death with gingerbread cookies and buried me under the playground. Please send the police...

Sex gone awry

I have a few author blogs that I keep up with - Isabella Snow's Smut in G minor is one of them. Recently she made a post about your folks getting jiggy with it.

It made me think of an experience, not involving my parents, but me, as a parent.

Imagine if you will, getting a little morning nooky in, presumably before kiddo is up and awake. Things are going along, as they do, heading for a climactic conclusion, when whomph! Hubby body slams you and knocks all the wind out of you (really it wasn't welcomed at the time, erotic asphyxia I am not into!). Then the unholiest of all sounds peals out around the room, "Giddy up horsey, giddy up!", along with the corresponding sounds of little boy feet pounding into the sides of his fathers back, and his boney little bottom digging its way into the exposed soft flesh of my husbands lower back as he bounces up and down, urging his horsey to go faster and win the race!

Talk about giving a four year old horsey rides around the house coming back to bite you on the ass...bad pun not intended!

Meanwhile, poor ol'me, being on the bottom of the pile is having an extremely hard time breathing...what between the laughter and the impacts on my sternum from hubby being slammed down, repeatedly, in search of the finish line.

It's a pity it wasn't quite the finish line we were aiming for...

You know, there is a book in there somewhere!