Tidings of the season...

It's Christmas Eve for thsoe of us on this side of the date line, and I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a Happy Hannukah, Cheery Kawaanza, and hope that next year brings you good things.

Looking back over this year, some big things happened. A surprise trip home to NZ, writing my first story, then having it and my second manuscript published, some front teeth missing (well that was the kiddo, not me), starting home renovations (never, never again - getting the professionals in from now on!), and many other good, and of course some not so good things that make the world go around.

Thank you if you are a reader or a publisher, or indeed family or friends for putting up with me over the last year, I promise I will be just as fun next year!

Shamelessly hooked from some Smart Bitches...

Check the sidebar links, I'm not being mean, they ARE Smart Bitches who read Trashy Books!

Romance at its finest

Where did you come from?

I have become a bit of a Stat-aholic with my websites. I have been using the free Bravenet, but also another free service called icerocket to monitor hits, countries they came from traffic times and the like.

What continually surprises me is what people google, and my name comes up...

Furry Ass - what the hell?
Washing hands - okay, I know this relates to my little rant on the evil dishwasher, but who googles washing hands? Doesn't everyone know how to wash their hands?
Relationship love bites hickey - well, this is a little more like it!
Strong erotica for married couples - it looks like these people are trying a little something new to liven up their love life, you go!
Laughing gives you wrinkles - LOL, check out last weeks Thursday 13 to check out why I came up on this.

Thirteen ways to leave your lover...

Thursday thirteen #2

1. Send flowers - Dead Flowers. Nothing says it like flowers

2. Not a flowers kind of person, and prefer to send houseplants? How about a prickly cactus with a sweet love note saying "this is how I think of you in my heart".

3. Stand him up - the new millennium way. Make a date to meet him at a fancy restaurant, also arrange to meet your new love at the same place. Make as if you plan to sit at the table, but waltz on by, and greet your new love by draping your scantily clad body over his and lickin' his lips like hes candy on a stick. Don't gloat unless your new love is of the same sex - only then should you look over and smile and watch his/her dreams of the threesome going swirling down the drain.

4. Set him up on a date...with your gay best friend.

5. Pet allergies huh? Make your feelings known via the SPCA/Humane society, adopt a couple of furry friends and invite him/her over to watch the game/chick flick.

6. Lip gloss - the kind with the flavour he doesn't like. Eventually he will get the hint.

7. Rearrange their stuff. Hide his porn, or even more dastardly - the remote. Never fear, the gals get their comeuppance, too - use her favourite hairbrush on your dog, or that expensive face cream on your jock itch...you won't see her for dust!

8. The Silent Treatment - now this really only works on girls; you know how frustrated we get when you ignore us.

9. Go all Janice on his ass. Remember Janice, Chandler Bing's ex-girlfriend in Friends? And that annoying laugh, only just slightly beating out Nanny Fine's caterwauling? Develop a new annoying vocal habit, use it to good effect during the game. He'll be gone by half time and wont be back!

10. Buy a dildo...with a harness. Then ask him if you can drive tonight. If he says go for it, you might just have to think twice about getting rid of the guy!

11. Be a Momma's boy. When she goes all out with candles and fine food, tell her it doesn't taste as good as what your Momma makes. This is an extreme measure, be prepared to duck flying forks and plates used like a Frisbee.

12. Really want this girl out of your hair? Wear her panties. You might not want to go as far as her bra (they are uncomfortable SOB's), but no woman is going to take you walking around in her finest - especially when it looks better on you!

13. Just slip out the back, jack. Make a new plan, Stan. You don't need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. Just drop off the key, lee. And get yourself free.

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thirteen things about laughter...

Thirteen Things about Laughter

1. It gives you wrinkles - in a good way.

2. Laughter really is the best medicine - Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack, according to a recent study by cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore.

3. Stressed? Go sit in a playground and listen to the kids laughing and find the joy in laughter.

4. Endorphins - Laughter can be as good as sex!

5. Talking about sex...everyone has the odd squelch now and then - don't be ashamed, laugh about it - imagine how much better all the extra endorphins from #4 will make your orgasm!

6. Love = Laughter, if you can't laugh together, what have you got?

7. Did you know that dogs and rats laugh?

8. Laughter is a great work out - so get working on that six pack!

9. Want a better nights sleep? Get in some laughter before nighty night time, and those bedbugs won't be keeping you awake.

10. Who would have thunk it, you can actually get Clown Therapy!

11. Freud...ah Freud where would our psyches be without him "Laughter is an "economical phenomenon" whose function is to release "psychic energy" that has been wrongly mobilised by incorrect or false expectations." Do you have any idea what that means? I don't.

12. Laughter even made it to the Internet - LOL!

13. Just remember; if you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will.


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Another weekend gone...

And the end of the year has crept another week closer.

I got to thinking (I know, I know...I used my brain?) about this last year, and what I have or haven't achieved.

It definitely has been a different year than I had thought it might be at this time last year. It was in about a months time that I sat down to pen my first tale...ever! Then in March I had a contract, and July my first book published. Quite a feat, considering that until I typed out

Wild Blue was the local bi/gay dance club—a place where she felt right at home since her two best friends, who happened to be men, were also lovers.

actually becoming an author was just one of those things in the 'wouldn't that be nice pile'. Although I consider myself artsy crafty, and mildly witty at times, writing was in the same place as my desire to one day learn ancient Hebrew and read the dead sea scrolls - most likely to happen when Pink Pig airlines took to the skies.

But somewhere along the way I tried something new. I took the time to try make one of those pipe dreams a reality and look ... I made it happen.

Okay, I wrote it, polished it, then sent it off and the wise folks at Loose Id saw the potential and made the final product happen, but still...I made it happen. As my friends would say, I now write chick porn and get paid for it. (Damn it, when will they realise it's erotic romance!!)

I know that there are writers who have suffered for years trying to do the same thing - get published that is, not write chick porn... err... erotic romance - who feel the need to write as if its a disease in their blood (sort of like the way Pepsi calls to me in the middle of the night like a bad vamp movie where you scream "No! Don't do it, the bad mans out there! He will suck your blood and kill you all dead to the dead!" (Bad C movie screenplay courtesy of FB, the king of really bad one liners)). But they aren't the target of this little diatribe. They are already trying to make their pipe dream a reality (although their pipe dream might need a little bit of a revamp), they are the ones already taking a risk. My target is the rest of you who dream your dreams, then moan about how they aren't ever going to come true.

When life hands you lemons, make lemon meringue pie people! Get out there, take one of those pipe dreams and give it a try. It might be a screaming pile of poo's (another FB classic), but you gave it a try. We have approximately 85 years on this planet, with no guarantee of any form of afterlife, make the most of what you have now. Don't just think out of the box, take a great big sledgehammer and smash the damn thing wide open, get out there and live your life the way you want it.

And maybe, now that I have made one potential possibility a reality, I might just hunt out a Rabbi and figure out who I have to screw to get my greedy mitts on the precursor to the bible.

While the cats away...

This mouse has been doing feck all, really.

You would think with hubby out of town (how nice for some to get to spend a week in Costa Mesa CA!), I would have the place ship shape and bristol fashion, the washing done, the dishes sparkling, and thousands of words written...you might think that.

I could easily disabuse you of that notion though.

Where have my days gone? Eppie reading for one...eh, my eyes are still square from that (reminder for next year offer for a few less entries to read), oh, I baked a cake...well technically I baked one cake (gingerbread from Slivia Violets Passionate Kitchen blog) and one slice (brownie for the USA folk)...mmm sultana slice, damn I love that stuff!

Oooh, I had a pedi...and, I think, an orgasm..just a little tiddly mini one. I was talking to the lady saying we had been doing our floors and my knees were kaput, and since I wasnt having the fancy smancy pedi she gave me this absolutely lower leg and knee massage. OHMIGAWD! It was so cruel to make me get up afterwards and walk. How dare they! Lets say the lady got a very generous tip! FB will like the pretty red toes when he gets back from CA - he has a bit of a thing for toes/feet...when they arent all cracked and hory looking that is.

See, I have all that polishing, and shining, and cleaning to do, and yet again I am here procrastinating. I so suck at being a housewife. I would never get a good recommendation from my boss...what a way to mar my glowing work record :(


PS don't forget to sign up to my mailing list to get in to win the Lemax Christmas Ornaments on the 12th.