Double teamed!

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13 pieces of purple prose - TT#12

Lets start with some classics:

• His hot and heavy manmeat
• Her overflowing honeypot
• His seed of life
• Her love chalice cried out to be the recipient of his seed of life
• And of course the always usable, shaft of love

Lets get a little more, umm... well take a read, you'll see:

• Raging tower of desire - anyone else wondering how on earth that's supposed to fit down there?
• Filled her with the hot wet tumult of his love (I filched that from here)
• Convulsion of bliss (well, some guys do make it look painful when they come!)
• He was ringing my bell - You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell
  
• And this one just sounds painful to me "He was going to bust a nut if he didn't get inside her hot box"
  
• Hitching on the Hershey highway - it was a guy who came up with this, no woman would ever defile chocolate in that manner!
• Making mouth music - play that flute baybee!
• Yodeling in the canyon of love

If you find one of these in any of my manuscripts please feel free to email me a slap upside the head - if I use one of these I'll need it to jump start my brain!

Thirteen ways to annoy your husband

Thursday thirteen #3

1. It has to come in at the top spot: Hide the remote

2. Use his razor on your legs.

3. Quickly followed by him finding out you used up the last of his shaving foam, too!

4. Use the girly scented fabric softener on his work clothes

5. Throw away all the holey underwear when he's at work - it's not Holy, it's just holey!

6. Get his favourite chair restuffed, and recovered - with Laura Ashley fabric.

7. Organise his 'man space', everything will be hanging in front of his nose and he won't be able to find it.

8. Invite your mother to stay for a week...make sure its on a weekend that a big game is on, and demand you want to go out to eat at the exact time of kick off.

9. Take his rough, tough, manly man dog to the groomers, and bring it home smelling sweet with a bow in it's hair. If you can stretch to a poodle cut, all the better!

10. Make him take your cat for a walk, complete with leash and rhinestone collar.

11. Tune all the preset stations to Chick Rock, Disney and classical. After all if its good enough for your car, its good enough for his truck.

12. His truck - oh the wealth of opportunities! From getting it detailed till it gleams when he has spent 6 months building up off roading grime, all the way to giving it a sunshine yellow paint job. Mary Kay Pink if you're really mean.

13. Take a photo of him asleep in his Laura Ashley chair, with the cat cuddled up to his head and his now foo foo dog at his feet and gleefully send it to all his mates, who will then put it in their wallets to bring out every friday night down at the pub... Priceless!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

The Meme of Four

Courtesy of Racy Li tagging me...

Four jobs I’ve had:

Dispensing Optician - I started this just out of Art school as a receptionist. Who would have figured a number of years (and a few other jobs in between)later I would qualify as a Dispensing Optician and eventually open my own Locum Dispenser business. I believe I was the first Dispenser to offer an advertised business of this nature in New Zealand, although many practices might have a person they call on when staff are sick or on leave.

Dental Assistant at an A & E Dentist - Loved working with this crowd, they asked a lot of their staff, but they treated them well, but saw some scary things, and some very funny things too. Like the girly who lost her two front teeth down the loo as she yakked up her cookies one New Years eve - it was a lesson for all of us...get drunk without your false teeth in, saves you no end in dentist bills!

Santa's Helper - Quite ironic really, all things considered. Yes, one year I worked at the mall as one of the girls taking your kidlets photos. You know, I never knew if that beard of his was real or not!

Photographer for a Women in Action Booklet at Waikato University - No money for this one. Maybe I was heading for the publishing life from an early age?

Four favorite foods: Cruel, cruel question!

Chili's southwestern egg rolls - I can't get enough of those things

Bread - carbs, carbs, give me those glorious carbs!

Licorice - Old Fashioned Black Knights licorice from NZ

I just can't decide of a fourth - and you can't make me!

Four movies I could watch over and over:

You know, I enjoy lots of movies, but I'm not rabid about watching them over and over again.

I do love watching anything by M.Night.Shamalyan - that guy is the master with the 'twist'.

Cheesy - I love cheesy for cheesinesses sake

Four TV shows I enjoy:

House - got to love that dry sarcastic wit!

Bones - David Boreanas...mm mm good!

Scrubs - Zack Braff - genius, pure genius I tell you!

Ugly Betty

By default I watch a lot of stuff like Avatar etc - 6 year old kiddos and their after school tv!

Four Places I’ve Traveled:

Ichihara, Chiba Peninsula, Japan

Iguazu Falls, Argentina

Oahu, Hawaii

The Bahamas

Four websites I go to (almost) daily: (Yay for Feed burner!)

Smart Bitches Trashy Books

Bors Boards (aka GoFistyourself.com - its not porn, the story behind the name is quite funny)

It's not Chick Porn

Designing Minds

Four people I’m tagging to do this too:

Isabella Snow

Lucy

Sharon Maria Bidwell

Celia Kyle